Next Of Kin
by Sparkle731
Summary: After Starsky is gunned down in the parking garage his mother insists on taking him back to New York. Is this the end of the legendary partnership of Starsky and Hutch? Chapter 12 is up. Story is now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**NEXT OF KIN**

**After Starsky is gunned down in the parking garage his mother insists on taking him back to New York. Is this the end of the legendary partnership of Starsky and Hutch? This story is post Sweet Revenge and it deviates from the canon version.**

**CHAPTER 1**

Hutch paced the corridor in front of Starsky's room. Rachel Starsky was meeting behind closed doors with his doctors. As his next of kin it was her decisions that the doctors were required to defer to. Although he knew that it was selfish, Hutch couldn't help but feel left out.

Starsky had been gunned down almost two months ago in an assassination attempt that had been directed at both detectives. He had suffered massive damage from five bullets to his chest and abdomen. The doctors had been positive that Starsky would never survive his injuries but Starsky had surprised them all by literally coming back from the dead. Rachel had flown to Bay City to be with her eldest son after Captain Dobey had called her.

Hutch stopped pacing when the door finally opened and Rachel stepped out. She was followed closely by Starsky's primary doctor, Doctor Lexington. The doctor was a tall thin man in his mid-sixties. He had neatly trimmed gray hair and piecing deep-set brown eyes.

"If you have any other questions feel free to have one of the nurses page me." Lexington told Rachel with a condescending smile. Rachel nodded as he turned and walked away.

Rachel took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She looked at Hutch with a shaky smile. 'There's no change." She said with a hitch in her voice. "The tests all came back the same as they did last week."

Hutch felt his stomach contracting into a tight ball even though he was expecting the news. Starsky had survived the attack against his life but not without permanent damage. The bullets that had slammed into his body had shredded muscle and tissue, shattering bone, rupturing vital organs, severing nerves and causing internal bleeding that had been difficult to control. Shock combined with massive blood loss had led to a cardiac arrest and Starsky's heart had stopped beating for almost four minutes.

Hutch slid a comforting arm around Rachel's shoulders and gave her a forced smile. "Let's go get some coffee."

Rachel nodded as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Hutch had already shed more than his share of tears since the shooting. With heavy steps, Hutch and Rachel walked down the hallway.

The hospital cafeteria was almost deserted except for the staff. Rachel and Hutch went through the line, both opting for a cup of coffee and a small salad. Hutch led the way to a small table near the back of the room where they wouldn't be disturbed.

As they settled down at their table, Rachel looked distracted as she pushed her salad around with her fork. Finally, she said, "The doctor wants to put David in a nursing home. He said he's not going to get any better."

"NO!" Hutch said a bit more sharply than he intended as he snapped his head up to look at her with a shocked expression on his face. "You can't let them do that to him! He can get better. I know he can. It's just going to take some time."

Rachel raised her head and looked at Hutch with a sad twist to her mouth. "Don't worry. I told him that I wouldn't allow it." She paused, knowing the devastating effect that her next words would have on the tall blond sitting across from her. "As soon as the doctor says David's strong enough I'm taking him back to New York."

"New York?" Hutch repeated in a stunned voice. That was the one possibility he had never considered. "Why? His life is here…his job, his apartment…" He bit his tongue to keep from adding himself to that list.

"Ken, we both know David can't go back to his job or to his apartment." Rachel said in a gentle voice. "He still can't do anything for himself and he may never be the same again."

"No, I don't know that. I don't care what the doctors say. They're the ones who said he'd never live through the night and he did. They're the ones who almost gave up on him when his heart stopped beating…and he still came back. He can beat this too…I know he can!" Hutch insisted "He just needs more time…"

Rachel reached out and gently caressed the back of Hutch's hand. It was a small gesture meant to comfort that made a lump lodge in Hutch's throat. He swallowed painfully as he struggled to regain his composure. The fear of losing Starsky was so strong that Hutch had pushed that idea to the back of his mind. He had prepared himself for Starsky's death in those dark hours immediately following the shooting. He had given up on him then. He would not do it again.

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I was giving up on him. I'm not." Rachel said "But, I need to go home. I've already stayed here a lot longer than I should have. But, I couldn't leave…not until I knew David was going to be alright. I almost lost him …just like I did his father." Rachel paused and wiped a tear from her cheek as she remembered the husband she had lost so many years ago. "I sent David away to save him and he still followed in his father's footsteps and he almost died more times than I care to think about." She took a deep breath as she gathered her thoughts. "I wasn't there for him when he needed me…but I am here now. I'm a selfish old woman and I want to spend how ever long I have left with my son. I need to take him back to New York with me…where I know he'll be safe." The protests died on Hutch's lips when Rachel raised her hand to silence him. "I know he'd be safe here with you. I know that you would devote your life to taking care of him…but I can't let you do that. Can you understand that?"

Hutch hung his head and closed his eyes. He did understand even if Rachel's words cut through his heart like a knife. He knew if he loved Starsky, then he had to let him go.

Not trusting his voice to speak, Hutch steepled his fingers and rested his forehead against his hands. He couldn't answer but then Rachel didn't seem to expect him to. Finally, he raised his head and looked into Rachel's face.

"I need him too…" Hutch admitted in a broken voice, blinking back the tears that gathered in his eyes.

"I know you do and I know that he needs you." Rachel said "You can come to New York anytime you want to. I know that won't be the same but you can't give up your life just because David can't go back to his."

"What about you? You can't take care of him by yourself."

Rachel laughed softly and looked at Hutch with a twinkle in her eye that reminded him of his partner. "Have you forgotten just how much family David has back in New York? Believe me I'll have more than enough help."

Hutch allowed himself a thin smile as he pushed his untouched salad aside. He and Starsky had depended on each other for so many years that it was difficult to watch Rachel stepping into what he considered to be his rightful place.

"Did the doctor say how long it would be before he'd be strong enough to make the trip east?"

"A week…maybe less." Rachel reached across the table and clutched at Hutch's hand. "I want you to spend as much time with him as you can until then. I know how hard this is for you."

"Thank you." Hutch said with a grateful smile. "Does he know?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure how much he understands."

They both fell silent their thoughts focused on the man lying upstairs in a sterile hospital bed on the fourth floor. Although Starsky was awake he was disoriented and confused. He suffered from mood swings, migraine headaches, and uncontrollable tremors on the left side of his body. The doctors blamed his current symptoms on the lack of oxygen to his brain during cardiac arrest.

Hutch rose gracefully to his feet and put his hand on Rachel's elbow to guide her out of the cafeteria. He was badly shaken by her plans to take Starsky back to New York but he was an expert at keeping his emotions hidden from everyone except for his perceptive partner. The smile he pasted on his face hid the pain that was tearing his heart apart.

As Hutch pushed the button for the elevator, Rachel took a step back. "I think I'm going to call Edith to come and get me. Why don't you go on up and spend some time with David?"

Hutch nodded flashing Rachel a grateful smile. He knew she was just making an excuse so that he could spend some private time with Starsky. He gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek just as the doors slid open. Grinning, he stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the surgical floor.

On the fourth floor the nurses were busy passing afternoon meds while the aides passed juice to the patients who could have fluids. Inside Starsky's room, the lights were turned low and the blinds were drawn shutting out the sunlight. The room was dim and quiet except for the beeping of the heart monitor sitting beside the bed. Starsky's eyes were closed, his thick dark lashes brushing against his gaunt cheeks.

Hutch sat down in the hard plastic chair beside the bed. He reached out and gently wrapped his fingers around Starsky's right hand. Starsky's fingers jerked involuntarily and his eyes fluttered open. For a few moments those sapphire orbs swept lazily around the room as Starsky struggled to get his bearings. Finally, he focused his attention on Hutch's face and a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

"Hu..ss..hh…" He mumbled in a slurred voice. Hutch smiled, pleased that Starsky had recognized him. Sometimes he didn't.

"Hey, buddy…" Hutch said in a soft, gentle voice that he reserved solely for his best friend and partner. He brushed an overlong curl back from Starsky's forehead smiling fondly when the hair wrapped itself around his finger. He made a mental note to tell the nurses that he would be giving Starsky a haircut. "How you doing?" 

"Hu..rts.." Starsky whimpered.

"I know, buddy. I know." Hutch said sadly. Starsky was constantly in pain despite the pain killers he was on. But, the drugs could only do so much. They dulled the worst of the pain but couldn't eliminate it entirely.

"Where am I?" Starsky asked in a frightened voice as his gaze swept around the room as if he was seeing it for the first time.

"In the hospital. You got shot. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah…that's right." Starsky visibly relaxed. He frequently seemed to forget what had happened. The doctors had told Hutch and Rachel that that was normal. It was his mind's way of protecting him from the trauma he had experienced. It was highly unlikely that he would ever remember the actual shooting. His eyes drifted shut as he fell back into a drugged slumber.

"You rest, buddy." Hutch whispered "I'll be right here when you wake up." He settled back in his chair to watch over his injured friend while he slept as he done for so many nights since the shooting. The nurses had all been impressed by Hutch's obvious devotion to his grievously wounded partner. He had allowed Rachel to sit with Starsky during the day but the nights belonged to Hutch and Hutch alone.

As he sat there through the long hours of the endless night, Hutch thought back over their years together, first as classmates at the academy, as friends and finally as partners on the force. They were closer than friends, closer even then brothers, they were bonded together at a molecular level. They shared almost a psychic bond, feeling each other's pain and sharing each other's thoughts. It was that unique bond that had made them the most legendary team of detectives on the BCPD. Now, it looked as if that partnership had finally come to an end.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Hutch took a deep breath to steady himself as he dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door to Starsky's apartment. A rush of emotion swept over him as he stepped across the threshold followed closely by Rachel. The time had come to close up Starsky's apartment and to begin the process of packing his things for his return to New York with his mother.

"It's so stuffy in here." Rachel said as she walked into the kitchen to open a window, sitting the paper bag she was carrying down on the table as she passed.

"I've been collecting his mail and watering the plants." Hutch said as he let his gaze sweep around the familiar surroundings. Although he was as comfortable in Starsky's apartment as he was in his own it still felt strange being here without Starsky. The apartment was too quiet, too empty. Hutch choked back the lump that suddenly seemed to be lodged in his throat as he realized that this would be the last time he set foot in this place.

As if she had sensed his discomfort Rachel moved to his side and touched his arm with a sad little smile. "We should get started. Why don't you pack the things in here and I'll start packing the things in the bedroom?"

Hutch nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak. His emotions were too raw, too close to the surface. The last thing he wanted to do was to break down in front of Rachel. The two of them had decided to donate the furniture and other household items to a local shelter except for the major appliances which had come furnished with the apartment. The only things that would be shipped to New York were Starsky's TV, his stereo, and his personal possessions.

A pile of packing boxes lay on the sofa. Rachel gathered up a few and disappeared into Starsky's bedroom leaving Hutch alone with the memories that surrounded him. Sighing heavily, he opened one of the boxes and began to carefully pack Starsky's collection of Mexican pottery and the model ships that he had painstakingly built by hand. The items were too fragile to risk shipping across the country so Hutch would be taking them with him back to his own apartment. Hutch fought back the tears as he methodically sorted through Starsky's things.

He decided to pack Starsky's eclectic collection of books to send to New York. There were trashy paperback novels, several biographies, a couple of books of poetry, numerous books on photography, and a large collection of the trivia tomes that Starsky loved. Hutch smiled sadly as he remembered how Starsky would drive him crazy with his knowledge of trivia during long, boring stakeouts. Hutch found a few of his own books that Starsky had borrowed and set them aside. He worked in silence trying not to let the memories overwhelm him.

The ache in his heart intensified as he began to sort though Starsky's pictures. Several framed photographs hung on the wall and sat around the apartment. Very few people realized just how good Starsky was when it came to his photography. He'd had an amazing eye for detail and a talent for capturing the essence of his subject in his pictures. He was good enough to have done it professionally if he ever decided to stop being a cop.

Several of the photographs were shots of Starsky and Hutch together, a mute testament to their unique bond. Hutch chose a couple of his favorites to keep for himself and carefully packed the rest in a box for Starsky. Each picture brought back painful memories of happier times spent with his partner and best friend.

"Do you want to take a break?" Rachel's voice said from behind him, startling Hutch badly. He had been so absorbed in his memories that he hadn't heard her come out of the bedroom. He felt her hand settle on his shoulder. "Why don't I make us some sandwiches?" She suggested. "You must be hungry."

Hutch nodded without speaking or turning around. Rachel squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before walking over to the table where she had set the bag when she first came in. Although Hutch had thrown out the perishables in the refrigerator after Starsky was shot, Rachel had thoughtfully brought some cold meat and bread with them.

Hutch sat down on the sofa and brushed his hand across his face wearily. He had known that this ordeal was going to be emotionally draining but he had never anticipated just how much. He listened to Rachel moving around in the kitchen as she fixed the sandwiches and made a pot of coffee. He wasn't really hungry but he knew that he should eat something.

"Are you all right, dear?" Rachel asked as she sat a plate of sandwiches and two cups on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"I'm fine." Ken told her with a thin smile as he picked up one of the cups and took a cautious sip.

"I know how hard this is for you but I'm glad you're here."

"It's the least I could do. For you and for Starsky…"

"Are you sure that you don't want to come to New York with us for a couple of weeks?" Rachel asked. "You know you're more than welcome."

"I know but I can't…not right now. I have to make sure that the case against Gunther is ready for the D.A. He's going to pay for what he did." The bitterness in Hutch's voice was obvious as he talked about the man who had hired the hit on the two detectives that had almost cost Starsky his life.

"Yes, he's a very evil man." Rachel said quietly. "But at least he's in jail where he can't hurt anyone else." She looked at Hutch with a concerned expression on her expressive face. "Have you decided what you're going to do when this is all over?"

"I already talked to Dobey." Hutch told her "I won't go back on the streets not without Starsky. I told Dobey that I'd resign if he tried to assign me a new partner." He sighed softly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know if I want to go on being a cop or not…" he admitted.

"I understand." Rachel said with a nod of her head. "Just don't make any rash decisions that you may regret later."

"I don't think I can do it…" Hutch said in a choked voice. "Not without Starsky. I probably would have quit a long time ago if it hadn't been for him."

"You and David have always had something special. I realized that the first time I met you. But, I know how you feel. Mike's partner couldn't go back on the streets either after Mike was killed." She smiled sadly as she spoke of her deceased husband who had been gunned down in front of their house when her David was only twelve years old. His murder had torn apart their little family and nothing had ever been the same. Although Rachel was still an attractive woman she had never remarried continuing to live in the tiny suburban house she had shared with her husband.

They finished their coffee, both lost in their own thoughts. Hutch ate a few bites before shoving his sandwich aside. He didn't want to offend Rachel but he knew if he ate anymore it wouldn't stay down.

"We'd better get this done." Hutch said as he shoved himself to his feet, pausing when Rachel reached out to touch his arm. He looked at her questioningly.

"Let me know if it gets to be too much for you." Rachel said softly. "I can always get Edith or that nice, Huggy Bear, to help me finish."

"I'll be okay." Hutch promised with a wan smile. He patted her hand reassuringly and then politely assisted her to her feet. Rachel returned to the bedroom while Hutch returned to his own task.

Two hours later, the boxes were neatly packed and marked for either donation or for shipping back to New York. Hutch had already made arrangements for Huggy to come by the next day and pick up the boxes that needed to be shipped. Huggy had also volunteered to make sure the things marked for donation made it to the shelter.

Huggy had been friends with Starsky ever since the displaced New Yorker moved to Bay City as a rebellious teenager. Over the years he had become good friends with Hutch too. More than once he had proven his friendship to the two men by being there when they needed him. More than anyone else, he knew just how lost Hutch felt without Starsky and how devastated he was by Rachel's decision to take Starsky back to New York.

As he left the apartment for the last time, a single teardrop slid down Hutch's cheek as he locked the door. Rachel pretended not to notice. She knew the man was grieving for the loss of his partner and his best friend. But, in her heart, Rachel felt that she was making the right decision for her critically injured son. The only decision she could make as a loving mother who had missed out on the majority of her eldest son's life.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Three days later, Starsky was ready to be released from the hospital. Rachel had reservations for a flight back to New York that was scheduled to leave that afternoon. In preparation for the cross country trip, Doctor Alexander had pre-medicated Starsky with valium to keep him calm during the flight. Rachel had a prescription in her purse in case he needed more during the flight.

Hutch carefully assisted his weakened partner from the bed to the wheelchair. After so many weeks in the hospital, Starsky had lost an alarming amount of weight along with most of his muscle tone. He faced months of physical therapy and rehabilitation. Doctor Alexander had already been in contact with a competent physician in New York who would be taking over Starsky's care there as soon as he arrived.

To avoid overwhelming Starsky anymore than he needed to be Hutch would be the only one accompanying Starsky and Rachel to the airport. Hutch was dreading the prospect of saying goodbye to his best friend and partner. He bravely pasted a smile on his face as he pushed the wheelchair out of the hospital room.

Several of the nurses and aides were gathered at the desk to say their goodbyes to their favorite patient. A ghost of the crooked smile that Hutch knew so well crept across Starsky's haggard face. He lifted his right hand and feebly waved it in the air. Instinctively, Hutch reached out and grabbed it, squeezing reassuringly as he stopped at the nurse's station.

"We're sure going to miss you, sweetie." Carla, Starsky's favorite nurse, said as she bent down and kissed his pale cheek.

"Thanks." Starsky mumbled in a barely audible voice. Since the shooting he was painfully self conscious and bore little resemblance to the confident, cocky man he had been before. Starsky had no idea how lucky he was to be alive. To the staff at the hospital (and to Hutch) he was a medical miracle. The others offered their own well wishes and kisses. Although Starsky appeared to enjoy the attention, Hutch caught the flicker of panic in his eyes and knew that it was time to leave.

"We'd better go." He told Rachel "Or you'll be late for your flight." He tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. He had to hold it together until they were on the plane, then he could give in to his emotions.

Choruses of well wishes and goodbyes followed them into the elevator. As the doors slid shut, Starsky sighed softly and looked up at his mother.

"Home?" he whispered in a strained voice.

"Yes, baby." Rachel said with tears in her eyes. "We're going home."

"Blintz too?" Starsky asked, glancing up at Hutch fondly.

"Not this time, buddy." Hutch reminded him gently. "You're going home with your mom. Remember?"

"Oh…yeah…" Starsky said with a confused frown. Although Rachel and Hutch had been telling Starsky for the past week that he was going back to New York with his mother Starsky didn't seem to understand that he would be returning to his childhood home for more than just a temporary visit.

As Hutch wheeled the chair out of the building and to the curb where he had parked his car, Starsky whimpered and closed his eyes against the unaccustomed glare of the sun.

"Sorry, buddy." Hutch said, mentally kicking himself for not thinking about Starsky's eyes being sensitive to the light. "Here, let's put these on." He pulled his own sunglasses from his shirt pocket and gently slipped them on his partner's nose.

"Thanks, Blondie." Starsky whispered gratefully.

Hutch carefully fastened the brakes on the wheelchair and reached out to open the door on the passenger's side of his car. Rachel slipped into the back seat so Hutch could gently settle Starsky into the front. He carefully fastened the seatbelt around Starsky's waist before closing the door and putting the wheelchair in the trunk of the car. As Hutch and slid underneath the wheel, Starsky glanced at him and said, "Where's my car?"

"Uh…it's still in impound." Hutch said evasively hoping Starsky wouldn't question him any further. He knew how Starsky felt about his car and Hutch didn't want to tell him how badly it had been damaged in the shooting.

"Oh…" Starsky said apparently satisfied with Hutch's answer. He leaned his head back against the seat lethargically as the combination of valium and pain medication began to make him sleepy. Hutch and Rachel exchanged a meaningful glance in the rear view mirror as Hutch turned on the ignition and pulled into the drive.

The drive to the airport was made in silence. When they arrived at the terminal, Hutch parked in the handicap zone. Leaving Rachel in the car with Starsky, he opened the trunk and pulled out the wheelchair. After making sure the wheels were securely locked, he opened the car door and carefully helped Starsky out of the car and into the chair. Rachel climbed out of the back seat and joined them as Hutch wheeled the chair into the busy terminal.

Starsky immediately tensed up and began to breathe heavily; unnerved by the crowd of people he suddenly found milling around him. He looked at his mother anxiously, his deep blue eyes filled with panic.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here." Rachel said soothingly as she reached out and took his right hand, grasping it tightly to reassure him. Starsky seemed to calm marginally, even though he continued to grasp his mother's hand almost painfully as Hutch maneuvered the wheelchair to their gate.

Hutch stayed with Starsky while Rachel walked up to the check-in desk to announce their arrival. Smiling warmly, Hutch knelt down beside the chair so he was on eye-level with his friend.

"It'll be okay, buddy. They'll let you board as soon as your mom checks you in."

"Don't wanna go." Starsky whimpered, tears gathering in his eyes. "Wanna stay here."

"I know, buddy. I wish you could but you need to go with your mom for now." Hutch said finding it difficult to speak past the lump in his throat and the pain in his chest.

"You come too…" Starsky insisted, pleading with his eyes silently saying the words he couldn't express aloud.

"I can't, babe. Not right now." Hutch said in a broken voice. "But, I'll come and visit real soon. I promise." Starsky's eyes seemed to glaze over as he withdrew into himself, silently accepting the inevitable. Hutch reached out and took his hands, grasping them tightly and said, "You're gonna be okay, Starsk. Your mom needs you with her right now. Do you understand?"

Starsky looked at Hutch, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears and whispered, "You don't want me around anymore…"

"That's not true!" Hutch declared a bit more sharply than he intended. He immediately felt guilty when he saw the flash of hurt in Starsky's eyes. Instinctively, he reached out and gathered Starsky's frail form into a comforting embrace. Burying his face against the lush curls, he whispered, "I love you, Starsky…me and thee…forever…"

"Ken," Rachel's voice said over his shoulder. "They're ready for us to board the plane."

Hutch gave Starsky a final hug and straightened up, schooling his face into a mask that hid his real feelings. He nodded somberly as an airline attendant stepped up behind the wheelchair and began to push Starsky towards the ramp that would take him away from Hutch.

"I'll call you as soon as we get there." Rachel promised giving Hutch a heartfelt hug and a kiss before scurrying after her son.

As they disappeared through the breezeway, Hutch swore he heard Starsky's voice crying "Hutchhhhhh…."

Hutch turned and hurried out of the terminal before he gave into the impulse to run after them. Blinded by his tears, he rudely pushed his way past startled passengers and airport staff, ignoring the complaints and obscenities that followed in his wake. When he reached the safety of his car, he bowed his head against the steering wheel, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs as he finally gave in to his grief.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Huggy Bear was winding down from the lunch rush when the door opened and Hutch walked into the bar. One look at the devastated expression in those ice blue eyes told Huggy all he needed to know. Starsky was the plane heading to New York with his mother.

Huggy filled a mug with beer and sat in down in front of Hutch as he slid onto a stool at the end of the bar. Hutch smiled his thanks as he lifted the glass and took a long swallow. Although he kept his head bowed, Huggy had caught a glimpse of his reddened eyes. The tall, thin black man felt a pang of empathy for his friend. A Hutch without Starsky just didn't feel right.

"So, that's it, huh? He's on his way to New York?" Huggy said

"Yeah," Hutch muttered in a strained voice. "He didn't want to go…"

"Does he know that he's not coming back?"

"I don't think he realizes that yet. He's still pretty confused…he keeps forgetting things…"

"He's not gonna forget you. You can count on that."

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Hug. I miss him already." Hutch admitted, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. 

"So, why didn't you go with him?"

"I can't! I have to make sure the case against Gunther is air tight. That bastard isn't going to get away with what he did! I don't care how much money or power the son of a bitch has!"

"I hear ya." Huggy thought about those dark hours immediately following Starsky's shooting when Hutch had turned into an avenging angel with one purpose in mind, finding the man who had hurt his partner. Hutch had single-handedly tracked down the man responsible for the attack on the two friends in the police parking garage. If Starsky had died, Huggy had no doubt that Gunther would have paid with his own life before Hutch found a way to put an end to his own pain. Luckily, it hadn't come to that.

"I know he's in good hands," Hutch said, talking more to himself than to Huggy. "But, I still feel like I should be there…I should be the one taking care of him. It's my job, my responsibility. I'm the one who should be watching his back…I let him down when he got shot and I feel like I let him down again by letting Rachel take him back to New York." Hutch's voice ended in a choked sob that tore at Huggy's heart. Instinctively, he reached out and grasped the blond's free hand, squeezing it tightly.

"She's his mother. You can't blame her for wanting him with her so she can take care of him. Every man has a mama."

"Yeah, I know…but it still hurts, man…it hurts."

"I know. I'm here, my white brother." Huggy said somberly. "I know I ain't no Starsky but I'll do my best."

"Thanks, Hug." Hutch said as he finished his beer and shoved himself to his feet. "I gotta go."

Huggy watched as the big blond walked away with a dejected slump to his shoulders. He made a silent vow to watch over Hutch and make sure that nothing happened to him in Starsky's absence. He knew that he was a poor substitute for the cocky brunet with the crooked smile but he promised himself that he would do what he had to do to keep Hutch from losing it without Starsky by his side.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Rachel sighed wearily as she settled down on the sofa in her living room. The flight from California had been more stressful than she had expected. David had become agitated before they boarded the plane and it took most of the flight to get him clamed down. He finally fell into a restless slumber with his head resting on her shoulder.

Luckily, Rachel's brother, Caleb, was waiting for them at the airport. He helped get a groggy Starsky into his car and drove them to Rachel's home in Brooklyn. Once they arrived at the house, Caleb took Starsky into the downstairs bedroom and helped him get undressed and settled into bed.

"He looks terrible." Caleb muttered as he rejoined Rachel in the living room. "Are you sure he's going to be alright?"

"I don't know." Rachel admitted. "He came so close to dying…" She choked back a sob, her defenses momentarily down. "He's still so weak and he can't do much by himself."

"Maybe you should have let the doctor put him in the nursing home."

"I couldn't do that to him!" Rachel insisted with a hint of anger in her voice. "Hasn't he been through enough?"

"And how do you plan on taking care of him by yourself? Nicky's not going to be any help. You know that."

"Don't you start too, Caleb. I'm his mother. I'll find a way. Besides Stella, Abigail and some of the others said they would help."

"I just hope you know what you're doing." Caleb said with a solemn shake of his head. "But, then you always have been headstrong…just like that boy in there."

"Thank you for picking us up at the airport and helping to get David into bed. But, it's been a long day and I'm tired so I'd like for you to leave now." Rachel said. Although her voice was warm and courteous, her tone made it clear that she wanted to be alone.

"Very well." Caleb said "You know how to get hold of me if you need anything." With those parting words, he let himself out.

Rachel shoved herself to her feet and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She knew that not everyone in the Starsky's extended family agreed with her decision to bring David home, seeing his care as an unnecessary burden. But it was a burden that Rachel gladly shouldered in order to have her oldest son finally back home with her. She knew that it would not be an easy task but Rachel was much stronger than most people realized.

Her eldest son might bear an uncanny resemblance to her late husband but he had inherited his independent nature and his stubbornness from Rachel. It was a trait that had allowed them both to weather the tragedies in their lives and keep on going.

Suddenly remembering her promise to Ken, she hurried the phone to call him in Bay City to let him know that they arrived in New York safely. The phone rang several times until Ken's answering machine picked up. Rachel left a brief message and hung up. After finishing her tea, she crept into the downstairs bedroom to check on her son.

Starsky appeared to be sleeping quietly, his face pinched with pain even in his sleep. Rachel gently brushed an unruly curl back from his forehead and bent to press a kiss against his moist brow. Starsky mumbled something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like Ken's name.

Rachel left the bedroom with a heavy heart. She knew that separating him from Ken was devastating for both men. Over the years they had grown so dependent on one another that sometimes it seemed as if they didn't need anyone else in their inner circle. Sometimes, Rachel found herself wondering if they had become too close, too dependent on each other to be able to function independently. Although he had managed to hide it well, Rachel had seen the pain and betrayal in Hutch's eyes when Rachel told him that she was bringing David back to New York with her. But, as she had told Ken, Rachel was selfish. She wanted her son with her. She had come too close to losing him the same way that she had lost his father so many years ago. Rachel had never told anyone but she still had nightmares about that day.

She looked up from her seat on the sofa when the front door opened and her youngest son, Nicky, came into the house. His clothes and hair were both rumbled and he had the shadow of a beard on face. Although Nicky had the same dark curly hair and sapphire blue eyes as his older brother, Nicky was shorter and stockier than David.

"Ma." Nicky exclaimed with a crooked smile. "You're home."

"I told you three days ago that I'd be back today." Rachel reminded him. "Were you too busy hanging out with your friends to remember?"

"Aw, Ma…don't start." Nicky whined. He went into the kitchen and began rummaging through the refrigerator for something to eat. "Hey, didn't you go to the store?" he called back to his mother through the doorway. "There's nothing to eat."

"You should have thought about that." Rachel said pointedly. "I'll make a list later and you can go to the store tomorrow. Aren't you going to ask about your brother?"

"Oh, yeah…" Nicky said as he wandered back into the bedroom. "Did you really bring him back with you?"

"I told you that I was going to. He's sleeping right now so keep your voice down." Rachel scolded her youngest son.

"Yeah, sure." Nicky muttered as he started to walk away only to stop at the bottom of the stairs when his mother said,

"I expect you to help out more around here, Nicoli. I'm going to be busy taking care of David."

Nicky snorted without answering and stomped up the steps to his room. Rachel sighed heavily. She knew that Nicky had hoped she would change her mind about bringing David home with her. He was used to being the center of attention and resented David's presence in the house. Rachel refused to allow Nicky's attitude to bother her. David's welfare came first not Nicky.

A muffled cry from the downstairs bedroom demanded her attention. Rachel hurried to David's side, running her fingers through his curls as she spoke to him soothingly as she urged him to open his eyes.

His eyelids fluttered and then opened halfway. In a husky voice, he said, "Hutch? Where's Hutch?"

"Hutch isn't here, honey." Rachel reminded him. "You're in New York. Remember?"

David's eyes swept around the room before settling on his mother's worried face. "Ma," he whimpered. "It hurts…"

"I know. Let me get your medicine." Rachel said "I'll be right back." She left the room and hurried into the kitchen where she had lined up David's various medications. She carefully measured out the ones he was supposed to take in the evening. Filling a glass with water, she hurried back to his side.

Slipping one arm behind his thin shoulders, Rachel helped him sit up so he could swallow the pills she held in her hand. She knew that the medication would put him back to sleep for the rest of the night. It had been a stressful day for both of them and sleep was the best thing for her David right now.

After he had taken his medicine, Rachel gently laid David's head back against the pillow. He looked at her with those sapphire eyes that seemed to truly be the window to his soul.

"Don't go…" he whimpered as he fought back the tears that gathered in his eyes. Since awakening from the coma three days after he was shot, David had been terrified of being left alone. If Rachel wasn't with him then Ken was. They were the only ones who were able to calm him down when he became confused or agitated.

"I'm not going anywhere." Rachel promised as she feathered her fingers through his curls. "Close your eyes now and rest."

"Yes, Mama…" David whispered, bringing tears to Rachel's eyes when he called her by the childhood name that he had stopped calling her when he was ten. Within minutes, his breathing deepened as he fell back to sleep. Rachel remained where she was, stroking his curls, for almost an hour before she finally left the room. She slipped into her bedroom which was just down the hallway. She left the doors to both rooms open a crack so she would hear him if David needed her during the night. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

****

Back in Bay City, Hutch had returned to his apartment. He listened to the message from Rachel letting him know that they had arrived safely in New York. He released a heavy sigh as he stripped off his clothes on the way to his sleeping alcove. He already felt lost without Starsky to lean on. He needed Starsky just as much as he needed the air that he breathed. He wanted to jump on a plane, fly to New York, and drag Starsky back to California but he knew that he couldn't do that. Even as he closed his eyes in sleep, he could feel his fragile connection with Starsky stretching across the miles that separated them, searching for the other half of his soul.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Early the next morning, Nicky crept down the steps before his mother awoke. Stealing down the hallway he slipped into the larger bedroom and looked at his older brother. He was shocked by the change in David's appearance since the last time Nicky had seen him. When he heard about the shooting, he had refused to go to California with his mother. If David was going to die because of his obsession with being a cop, then Nicky didn't plan on being there to watch it.

"Hey, Bro," Nicky whispered as he stepped up beside the bed glaring down at his sleeping brother. "I always knew you'd end up like this." His voice turned cold and bitter "Where was your precious Hutch when you got gunned down, huh? I bet he was too busy covering his own ass to worry about you."

Although the two brothers had become estranged over the years, Nicky still hated Hutch for taking what he considered his rightful place in his brother's life. And the tall, arrogant blond didn't care for Nicky either. Nicky had never forgiven David for what he saw as his older brother's abandonment after their father's murder. When David came home for the summer after his release from the army, Nicky had resented what he saw as his interference in Nicky's life but at the same time, he longed for the closeness that they used to share. Then when David suddenly announced that he was going back to California, Nicky had felt betrayed and abandoned all over again.

"I don't know why Ma insisted on bringing you back home. Why didn't she just stick you in a nursing home and get on with her life. I would have." Nicky sneered. "Or better yet, let Hutch take care of you. I bet he'd jump at the chance to wipe your ass and clean up your puke. Ma better not expect me to. I got better things to do with my life."

When David moaned in his sleep and turned his head toward the sound of Nicky's voice, the younger man quickly slipped out of the room before his brother woke up. Grabbing his jacket from the hallway closet, Nicky left the house to hang out with his friends.

The slamming of the front door awoke Rachel who quickly slipped out of bed and went to check on David. She knew that Nicky had snuck out of the house so he wouldn't have to help her care for his brother. David was just starting to show signs of waking up, so Rachel hurried into the kitchen for his morning medications. By the time she returned, Starsky's eyes were open and he was frantically looking around the room.

"I'm right here, honey." Rachel soothed him as she helped him take his pills.

"Where am I?" David asked in a confused voice.

"You're at home. In New York."

"Hutch?" he asked hopefully

"He had to stay in California." Rachel told him gently. "Are you hungry?"

"No." Starsky said sullenly. He squirmed uncomfortably and looked embarrassed. "I need to pee."

Rachel nodded and threw back the covers to help him out of bed. Starsky stood up, swaying unsteadily until he got his bearings. Wrapping an arm securely around his waist, Rachel slowly led him across the room to the adjoining bathroom. In the hospital he had always insisted that Hutch or one of the nurses help him but here he had no choice but to allow his mother to do something that even a man's mother shouldn't have to help him with once he was an adult. Rachel guided him to the commode and helped him balance himself by bracing one hand against the wall. He closed his eyes, a flush creeping up his neck and into his face, as Rachel tugged his white boxers down over his hips.

"For goodness sake, David, you don't have anything that your father didn't have." Rachel scolded him when she noticed the grimace of discomfort on his face. Starsky snorted at her words which was exactly the reaction she had been hoping for. She turned her back to give him some privacy but he was still painfully aware of her presence in the room as he emptied his painfully full bladder. When he was finished, Rachel pulled up his boxers and waited patiently while he washed his hands.

"I'll make you something to eat and then you can get dressed." She said as she helped him back to the bed. She ignored her son's pained look as she walked out of the room.

David's digestive system had been traumatized by the shooting and his appetite was almost non-existent. It was a challenge to find foods not only that he could eat without throwing up but also foods that would tempt him to eat in the first place. Remembering how much he had loved rice pudding with maple syrup as a child that's what Rachel decided to fix. When it was ready, she returned to the bedroom and helped David sit up, propping several pillows behind his back to support him.

She coaxed him into eating about a third of the pudding before David shook his head and refused anymore. Sitting the bowl aside for the moment, Rachel said, "Fine but if you won't eat then you'll have to drink one of those nutrition shakes." She knew that David hated the chalky taste of the shakes and would do just about anything to avoid drinking them. With that subtle bit of blackmail she was able to coax him into eating a few more bites.

When he finished Rachel took the bowl into the kitchen. Returning to the bedroom, she took a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt out of the dresser. Sitting the clothes on the edge of the bed, she gently cupped David's beard roughened chin in her hand and forced him to look at her.

"I know how hard this is for you and I'm sorry. I can always call Jacob to come over and help you."

"No…it's okay." David mumbled a flush creeping up into his pale cheeks. "Let's just get it over with."

"That's better." Rachel said with a pleased smile. She knew that David's pride and self consciousness would prevent him from allowing a virtual stranger to take over his care even though it embarrassed him to have Rachel do it. Even in the hospital, he had been so uncooperative with the nurses when it came to his personal care that they had finally agreed to let Hutch to give him his baths and shave him.

Rachel helped him sit up on the edge of the bed and then to his feet. She made sure he had his balance before kneeling down to let him step into the legs of the sweat pants. His incisions were still much too tender for him to tolerate the tight jeans he preferred. His mother deftly pulled the loose cotton pants up to his waist and then helped slip the tee shirt over his left arm, then his head and finally his right arm. She smoothed the shirt down and then helped him sit down in the wheelchair.

She wheeled the chair into the living room and parked it in front of the TV. She handed David the remote so he could find something he wanted to watch while she went into the kitchen to make a quick list of groceries that she needed and then called the mom and pop store a few blocks away that still made deliveries. She ordered several items that she normally wouldn't have bought hoping that she could get David to eat more.

Remembering the appointments that Doctor Alexander had arranged before they left Bay City, she retrieved her purse and carefully wrote each appointment on the calendar. Since David was temporarily in a wheelchair until he got stronger, there was a local medical transport that would help get him back and forth to his appointments. Rachel picked up the phone to call them and make the arrangements for transportation since David's first appointment was scheduled for the next afternoon.

By the time she finished her call, the delivery boy arrived with the groceries. She paid for them and included a generous tip, then carried the bags into the kitchen to put them away. By the time she was done, it was time to fix lunch. She fixed some chicken soup and peanut butter sandwiches another one of David's favorite childhood foods. Filling a glass with milk, she carried the tray into the living room and set it up on the tray that fitted over the arms of the wheelchair.

Since his dominant hand was still too weak to use, Rachel helped him eat the soup and then put the sandwich in his right hand. He took a few bites and then looked at her somberly.

"That's good, baby. Why don't you finish your milk and you can have some ice cream later?" Rachel said, pleased that he had eaten most of the soup and half of his sandwich before deciding that he had had enough. Ice cream seemed to be one treat that he was always willing to eat.

As the day wore on, David became more moody and agitated. The trembling in his left hand became more noticeable which only irritated him even more. Rachel refused to resort to giving him the valium that the doctor had prescribed. She was worried because the doctors had him on so much medication and she was positive that it was responsible for some of his current symptoms. She intended to talk to his new doctor about her concerns.

"I know," Rachel said with a sudden inspiration "Why don't you call Ken? I'm sure that he'd love to hear from you."

"No." David said with a stubborn shake of his head. Rachel was startled when his eyes filled with tears. "He doesn't need me anymore. I can't be his partner…I can't be anything like this…"

"David Michael Starsky!" Rachel scolded him firmly. "I don't want to hear you talking like that again! Ken is your best friend. That hasn't changed."

"Then why did he send me away?"

"Oh, baby…is that what you think?" Rachel said sadly. "I'm the one who decided to bring you back to New York. I didn't really give Ken much of a choice." She gently pulled him into her arms, rocking him back and forth just like she had done when he was little. "Don't you realize that he would have given up everything just to take care of you himself? I couldn't let him do that."

"You should have just put me in a nursing home like the doctor said." David muttered moodily. "I'm just a burden to everybody like this."

"No, you aren't." Rachel insisted. "You're my son and I love you. You'll get better…you'll see. It's just going to take some time."

"What about my arm?" David asked in a trembling voice. "I can't even use my left hand."

"Then you'll learn to do things with your right hand." Rachel said firmly. "I'm not going to give up on you and I am not going to let you give up on yourself."

"Okay…" David mumbled as he laid his head against her breast with a heavy sigh. The doctors had warned Starsky that he would experience varying degrees of depression due to the trauma of being almost killed but he was finding it hard to remain optimistic when it felt like he didn't have much left to live for.

By the end of David's first full day at home, Rachel was exhausted, physically, emotionally and mentally. She hoped that the new doctor would have some suggestions that would help to improve the situation. Rachel's sister, Ruth and her husband, Jacob, were coming over in the morning to help out. Rachel went to sleep thankful that she had such a large extended family in New York to rely on.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

The next few days were hectic as David was settled into a routine of doctor's appointments and physical therapy. The new doctor encouraged Rachel to allow David to walk as much as he felt up to doing. The change in his routine only seemed to agitate David more and put him in a foul mood. Rachel knew that part of it was because he was also experiencing more pain due to the increased activity. She tried to be patient but it was getting harder and harder to hold her tongue when David seemed determined to sulk like a child.

Nicky continued to sneak out in the mornings and not come home until all hours of the night if he came home at all. Rachel chose to ignore Nicky's behavior for the time being. She would deal with him later. David needed her now more than Nicky ever had. Rachel was not blind to Nicky's actions. She knew that he was running with the wrong crowd and probably involved in illegal activities. She had never told David but Nicky had already been arrested twice. Once for being drunk and disorderly and the second time for an assault. Both times, the judge had given him a strict lecture and then let him off easy simply because he was Michael Starsky's son. But eventually, Rachel knew that wouldn't be enough to keep Nicky out of jail if he kept going the way he had been going for years. He had become the neighborhood thug that she had sent David away to keep him from becoming.

Jacob had helped settle David in bed for the evening and left while Rachel was getting his nighttime meds and a glass of milk. After David had fallen asleep, Rachel went back into the living room. David's things had arrived from California that morning and the boxes sat on the sofa waiting to be unpacked. Rachel was getting ready to unpack the first box when the telephone rang. She grabbed the receiver before it could ring again and disturb David.

"Rachel?" Hutch's familiar voice said in her ear.

"Ken! It's so good to hear from you. How are you, dear?"

"Busy. How's Starsky?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected I suppose." Rachel said "It's too bad you didn't call earlier or you could have talked to him before he fell asleep."

"I'll try to remember that next time. I miss him."

"I know. He misses you too. He keeps asking me where you are."

"He's still forgetting things?" he asked the concern evident in his voice.

"Sometimes, but he's getting better. This new doctor doesn't seem to be too worried about it. He said he thinks that David's symptoms are related to the trauma of the shooting and not from a lack of oxygen during the cardiac arrest."

"So does he think that he can help him? Or does he think its permanent too like the doctors here did?"

"He said we won't know for awhile. It depends on how well David adjusts to the therapy and how soon he can wean him off of some of his medications especially the pain meds."

"At least that's more than the doctors here had to say."

"I'm worried about him." Rachel admitted "He's so depressed most of the time. If we don't start seeing some kind of improvement soon, I'm afraid that he's going to give up and stop trying."

"You can't let him do that. You have to be firm with him and push him sometimes."

"Yes, dear." Rachel said with a fond smile. "I know. That hasn't changed much since he was child."

"I'm sorry." Hutch said in an abashed voice. "Sometimes I forget that you know him just as well as I do."

"Why don't you come out for a few days? I think it would be good for him and for you too."

"I wish I could but the D.A.'s pushing for a speedy trial with Gunther and I have to be here as the arresting officer and primary investigator on the case."

"Maybe you can get away in a few weeks."

"Maybe."

"Ken, I'm sorry about separating the two of you the way I did. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do."

Hutch laughed and said, "Whenever I ask Starsky why he did something risky or stupid he always tells me that it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Sometimes things don't always seem like such a good idea when you look back on them later." Rachel admitted.

"Are you regretting your decision to take him back to New York?" Hutch asked in an alarmed voice.

"No, it's not that but I do regret not talking it over with you first and seeing if we could work something else out."

"Hey, guilt trips are supposed to be my thing," Hutch told her somberly. "You did what you felt you had to do. I understand that."

"But that doesn't make it hurt any less, does it?" Rachel said softly.

"No." Hutch admitted ruefully. "Look, Rachel, I have to go. I'll try to call tomorrow."

"All right, dear. Good night and take of yourself. I hope to see you soon."

"Me too. Tell Starsky I said hi and that he'd better listen to his mother." Hutch said deliberately lightening his tone to put Rachel's mind at ease.

"I'll tell him. Goodbye, Ken." Rachel hung up before she started to cry. She could hear the pain and longing in his voice when he talked about David. She had no doubt that if it hadn't been for the case against the man who had tried to kill David, Ken would have been on the first plane he could catch to New York. She began to realize that she may have made a mistake by insisting on bringing David home with her. His place was in California with Ken. That was his home now and had been for over twenty years. This was just where he had lived for the first thirteen years of his life. Lost in her own thoughts, Rachel began to unpack the boxes that had arrived that morning.

She was startled when the front door flew open and an obviously drunk Nicky stumbled into the house.

"What's all this crap?" He slurred, eyeing the boxes Rachel was unpacking suspiciously.

"It's your brother's things that I had sent here from California."

"Why? It's not like he's in any condition to get any use out of them." Nicky sneered but then his eyes lit up when he noticed Starsky's stereo system. "But, I know where I could get a couple of hundred bucks out of that stereo. That's sweet system."

"Nicholas Marvin Starsky!" Rachel said sharply, her eyes flashing with anger as she glared at her youngest son. "You will not touch any of your brother's things!"

"Whatever…" Nicky mumbled with a dismissive wave of his hand as he staggered to the steps and made his way upstairs.

Rachel sighed heavily as she returned to the task at hand. She knew that Nicky's attitude and behavior was his way of punishing her for bringing his older brother home to recuperate. She didn't know how to make Nicky see that she loved both of her sons equally but that David needed her now more than he did.

When she came to the box of pictures that Hutch had packed, she found herself examining each candid shot of her son and his partner. There were shots of them when they graduated from the academy, pictures of them in their uniforms, photos of them with some of their girlfriends, and numerous photographs of them together. As she carefully looked at each picture, she could see the love in their eyes. She felt a lump rising up in her throat.

"Oh, my god…what have I done?" she whispered as she carefully put the pictures back into the box and closed the lid. She knew that she had made a mistake by separating them. Now she had to figure out a way to make things right for all of them. David needed Ken and Ken needed David. It was as simple and as complicated as that. 


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

The next morning Rachel was fixing David's breakfast when Nicky came stumbling down the steps. Since there were no appointments or therapy sessions scheduled for the day, she was letting David sleep in. Ignoring his mother, Nicky grabbed a cup of coffee and stood at the counter to drink it obviously nursing a hangover.

"Big brother still in bed?" Nicky said finally breaking the uncomfortable silence in the kitchen.

"Yes, he's still sleeping so keep your voice down."

"Right. Can't disturb poor David, can we?" Nicky sneered as he slammed his cup down on the counter. "He'd have been better off dying instead of the shape he's in now."

"Nicolas!" Rachel snapped in an outraged voice at his poor choice of words. "I don't ever want to hear you talk about your brother like that again not as long as you expect to live under this roof!"

"Go ahead, Ma," Nicky snarled "Pick Davy over me just like you always have! He's always been your favorite." He stormed out of the room before a startled Rachel could reply.

"Oh, Nicky," she said under her breath as she finished fixing David's breakfast. "What am I going to do about you?" Nicky was rapidly pushing her into a position she didn't want to be in, forcing her to make a choice that no mother should ever have to make. She finally had the chance to make it up to David for sending him away to California when he was only thirteen, to be his mother again even if it was only for a little while, and Nicky wanted to spoil it by throwing a jealous tantrum.

Rachel took David's tray into the bedroom to find him already awake. He was still unsteady on his feet but he was showing some improvement. He had managed to leave the wheel chair behind and was learning how to get around the house with a walker. He still tired easily and needed to rest frequently throughout the day. The doctor had fitted his left arm with a brace to help stabilize it but the trembling in his hand was still noticeable especially when he was tired or stressed.

"Good morning, darling. Have you been awake long?" Rachel asked as she sat the tray down on the nightstand so she could set the bed table over his lap.

David shook his head without answering. His eyes were still heavy so Rachel knew that he hadn't been awake for long. She noticed that he had used the urinal which was sitting on the opposite nightstand. Rachel was pleased with the progress he had made in a relatively short period of time but David was still frustrated by his limitations. His earlier bouts of confusion had improved significantly but he still had mood swings and remained depressed most of the time.

"I made you pancakes with strawberries." Rachel told him brightly as she began to cut them up for him. The therapist had instructed her to encourage him to use his right hand more and to let him try to feed himself as much as possible even if he made a mess. Since his right hand was not his dominant hand, it was often a frustrating exercise for both of them.

"Don't want any." David mumbled with a stubborn tilt of his chin.

"Do you want me to fix you something else?" Rachel suggested.

"Not hungry."

"Are you not hungry or is your stomach upset?" Rachel asked. She was almost as good as Hutch was when it came to interrupting what her son was really saying without saying it.

"Feel sick." David admitted with a frustrated face.

"Okay…how about if you try drinking your milk? Maybe that will settle your stomach enough to try and eat something." The combination of medications that he still had to take each morning and evening often left him feeling nauseated and anything he ate would immediately make a repeat appearance. Rachel worried constantly about him losing anymore weight than he already had. He had always had a lean, muscular build and even a few pounds of weight loss made him look gaunt especially in his face. An almost thirty pound weight loss since the shooting had left him looking like a refugee from a concentration camp. Rachel had started sneaking extra calories into his food whenever she could by adding extra sugar, heavy cream, and rich gravies or sauces.

David obediently drank the milk that Rachel had added chocolate syrup and a scoop of ice cream to mixing it all together in the blender. When he finished he laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes for a few minutes as Rachel ran her fingers through his hair a gesture that had always soothed and comforted him ever since he was a little boy. It was a trick that Hutch had learned early in their relationship to use when he wanted Starsky to relax and go to sleep.

"Feel better now?" Rachel asked after he had rested for a few minutes. Starsky nodded his head without opening his eyes. "Want to try eating something for me?"

"Not right now. Maybe later." He whispered in a dejected voice.

"Why don't you try to get some more sleep? You don't have any appointments today so there's no reason to get up until you're ready to."

"Okay," David said drowsily as Rachel gathered up his uneaten breakfast and left the room. She had just put the dishes in the sink to wash them when Nicky stumbled down the steps and slammed out the front door without a word.

Rachel's brother, Elijah, stopped by around noon. He graciously accepted Rachel's invitation to join them for lunch. She had fixed a light brunch including a rich beef stew, biscuits, and a thick chocolate pudding served with whipped cream. David had only been up for a few minutes and still had a sleepy, rumpled look.

David glanced at his mother self consciously as she sat a bowl of stew in front of him. Smiling fondly, she patted his hand and said, "It's all right. If you can't do it, I'll help you." She knew that he was embarrassed about eating in front of his uncle.

She saw the flash of determination in David's eyes as he reached out and awkwardly took the spoon in his right hand. With deliberate care, he lifted the spoon to his mouth and took a bite. He flashed a pleased grin at his mother to celebrate his success. Rachel smiled back brightly. Every little achievement, no matter how small, helped to bolster David's battered confidence.

David managed to eat about half of his meal with just a few spills that Elijah and Rachel tactfully ignored. He bulked when Rachel grabbed a washcloth to wipe off his face and hands but, after a few minutes of rebelliousness, he finally submitted to her tender ministrations. After their meal, David went into the living room and settled on the couch, turning the radio to a station that he enjoyed listening to.

As she walked Elijah to the door, the older man looked at her solemnly and said in a loud whisper, "He is doing better, yes?"

"Yes, it's taking some time but he is getting better." Rachel reassured him. "The physical therapy is helping."

"Good. That one is not one to be tied down for long." Elijah said sagely. "He is like the wind in the trees…the birds in the sky." Touching a finger to the brim of his black hat, he smiled warmly at his sister as he let himself out the door.

Walking back into the living room, Rachel smiled fondly at the sight of her eldest son sitting with his eyes closed, bobbing his head, as he listened to the music coming from the radio. Moving to her son's side, she ruffled his thick curls earning herself a crooked smile for her effort. Seeing that smile on David's face again made it all worth it.

"Maybe Ken will call tonight." Rachel said

"Why can't he come see me?" David asked in a hurt voice that tore at Rachel's heart. "Is he mad at me?"

"Of course not." Rachel told him "He loves you. He's just busy right now. He's working so hard to get the man who tried to have you killed put away for good. I'm sure that he'll come for a visit just as soon as he can."

"I miss him."

"I know you do, baby." Rachel said giving him a comforting hug. David leaned into her embrace with a contented smile as he leaned his head against her breast. He hissed against the sudden flare of pain in his chest that caught him unaware. The pain was a constant that never seemed to ease up even with the medication he was on.

He closed his eyes to hold back the frustrated tears that threatened to spill over. Since the shooting it seemed as if his emotions threatened to overwhelm him without any warning swinging from fits of anger to tears all within minutes. The doctors kept reassuring him that he would get better in time but in his mind time was the enemy and things were happening too slow to suit him. Even though he loved his mother, California was home now and he missed it. But, most of all, he missed Hutch.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Sweat broke out on his upper lip as Starsky carefully balanced himself on the parallel bars and took one stumbling step forward and then another. The physical therapist had been working with him on the bars for over a week. It was hard work often reducing him to frustrated tears and anger but he was determined to get rid of the hated walker

His left arm and hand still trembled uncontrollably and he couldn't lift the limb past chest level without a significant amount of pain. The doctor had explained about the muscle damage, torn tendons and severed nerves. David didn't need anyone to tell him about muscle damage and severed nerves; he carried the scars that bore mute evidence to his miraculous survival.

Although he knew that his heart had stopped twice, once during the emergency surgery to piece together his shattered insides and the second time while he was still in the ICA, he didn't remember anything about those early days in the hospital. Knowing that he had actually died for a few minutes and then came back to life did something to a man's perspective

"You're doing very well, David." Marianne, his physical therapist told him with an encouraging smile as she watched him slowly work his way to the end of the parallel bars. He paused to catch his breath and then turned around and made his way back to the other end. By the time he finished, his face was covered with sweat but he was grinning happily, pleased with himself.

"Let's finish up and then you can get in the whirlpool."

David nodded. He always enjoyed the lying in the whirlpool and letting the hot, swirling water ease his cramped, aching muscles. He wished that it was as easy to ease the ache in his heart. He finished up his session with Marianne and spent an hour in the whirlpool before getting dressed.

Rachel and Jacob were waiting patiently in the waiting room when David finished. Rachel's eyes lit up with pleasure as she watched David slowly walking towards her, leaning heavily on the metal walker. A nurse trailed along behind him with a wheelchair in case he needed it.

When they returned home, David was tired enough to lie down and rest until suppertime. Jacob helped him into the house and made he was comfortable before leaving. As Rachel walked him to the door, Jacob looked at his sister and said,

"Have you heard from Nicholas?"

"No. Not since he stormed out of here a few days ago."

"That one is no good. It is better he is gone."

"He's still my son, Jacob. I worry about him."

"I know you do but believe me it will better if he stays away this time. He has always been spoiled and selfish. He wants to be the center of attention. He can't be that with David here."

"If you hear anything you will let me know?"

"Of course I will…good or bad." He smiled warmly and gave the worried woman a reassuring hug. "But I wouldn't worry so much about Nicholas. That one will always find a way to land on his feet. It's time to let him go. Let him find his own way in life…even if it is the wrong way."

Rachel closed the door behind her brother and went into the kitchen to start her chores. Lost in her own thoughts, she startled when she heard the front door open and then slam shut. She looked up in time to see Nicky stumble into the kitchen. He reeked of alcohol and his clothes were rumbled and dirty.

"You've been drinking." Rachel said in a disapproving tone as she turned to confront her youngest son. He had broken one of her cardinal rules by coming into the house drunk.

"No shit…I'm surprised you noticed." Nicky slurred.

"Watch your language, young man!" Rachel said sharply.

"Or what? You gonna wash out my mouth with soap?" Nicky sneered "I'd like to see you try, old woman…"

Rachel looked at her son in alarm. Nicky had never been so rude or disrespectful with her before and his belligerency surprised her. She suspected that he was under the influence of something more than alcohol.

"Keep your voice down. David is resting."

"Of course he is! Can't disturb poor Davy, can we?" Nicky snarled. "Davy always comes first."

"You need to go to your room and sleep it off." Rachel ordered firmly. "And then we need to have a talk about your behavior!"

"Not this time, Ma…" Nicky growled. He reached under his jacket and suddenly pulled out a gun, pointing it at his mother threateningly. "I'm tired of not being good enough for you…"

"Nicholas, what are you doing? Put that away!" Rachel said, trying to keep the fear from showing in her voice.

"What are you gonna do if I don't? Call the cops?" Nick barked a hoarse, bitter laugh. "Have me arrested?"

"If I have to…yes."

"You'd do it too, wouldn't you?" Nicky said, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he waved the gun around recklessly. "You bitch…"

"Get out of this house! Now!" Rachel said, her own temper rising despite her fear at what her son was capable of in his present condition.

"What's going on here?" David's wavering voice said from behind Nicky, startling them both.

Nicky spun around at the sound of his brother's voice, aiming the gun at David's chest, as a thin smile tugged at his lips. "Well, well, well…look who decided to join the party."

"Nicky…don't…please…" Rachel cried out, her heart pounding with fear at the danger David was in from his own brother.

"SHUT UP!" Nicky screamed at Rachel. Turning his attention back to his older brother, he hissed, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DIE!" With a vicious swing of his arm, he slammed the gun against the side of David's head. As his brother crumbled to the floor, stunned by the blow, Nicky straddled his body. Dropping the gun to the floor, he began to viciously beat David with his fists as Rachel's screams filled the air.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

"NICOLAS, STOP! GOD…PLEASE STOP!" Rachel cried as she rushed forward and grabbed her younger son's arm, trying to pull him off of David. With a growl, Nicky shoved his mother away. Rachel stumbled backwards and fell, hitting her head on the edge of the kitchen table hard enough to render her unconscious. Blinded by rage and hatred, Nicky continued to beat his defenseless brother.

Nicky stopped his brutal attack just as suddenly as he had started it and looked down at his brother's battered face. "You got what you deserved…" he muttered as he staggered to his feet. As he turned, he saw his mother lying on the floor, bleeding heavily from a gash on her temple. "Ma?" he whimpered, taking a stumbling step backwards. "FUCK!' he hissed as he grabbed the gun off the floor and ran out the front door.

****

Hutch was finishing up a report on the Gunther case when Captain Dobey opened his office door and motioned for Hutch to enter his inner sanctum. Slapping shut the file lying in front of him, Hutch stood up and followed Dobey inside closing the door behind him.

Dobey sat down at his desk and looked up at Hutch, his face solemn and grave. Hutch immediately went on high alert, sensing that something was wrong.

"I just got off the phone with Jacob Starsky in New York. Rachel and Starsky have both been taken to the hospital. They were attacked by an unknown assailant in the Starsky home sometime this morning."

"What?" Hutch exclaimed as his knee gave out and he sank into the chair facing the Captain's desk. "Are they okay?"

"Rachel has a severe concussion and is still unconscious. Starsky appears to have been the primary target. He was severely beaten and is in a coma. I've already made arrangements for you on the next plane to New York. It leaves in two hours."

"Do the police have any idea who did it?" Hutch was an expert at concealing his feelings but inside his heart was pounding with fear. He was terrified that Gunther had somehow attempted another attack against Starsky.

"Not yet. They're hoping Rachel can tell them something when she wakes up."

"Thanks, Cap." Hutch turned and hurried out of the office, leaving the building. He had just enough time to go home and pack a few things before catching his flight. He was overwhelmed with guilt. Once again, he had let Starsky down by not being there when Starsky needed him the most. As he boarded the plane for the cross country flight to New York, he made a silent vow to find whoever had done this to Rachel and Starsky and make sure that they paid and paid dearly.

It was early evening when Hutch's plane landed in New York. Grabbing his bag on the way out of the terminal, he climbed into one of the cabs waiting for fares at the front entrance.

"Saint Rita's Hospital and step on it." Hutch ordered as he climbed into the back seat of the cab. The cab driver nodded and pulled away from the curb with a jolt that pushed Hutch back in his seat. Luckily, thanks to his previous visits to the city with Starsky, Hutch was prepared for the reckless way the cab driver maneuvered through the heavy traffic on the way to the hospital.

When the cab pulled up in front of the hospital, Hutch pulled some bills out of his pocket and handed them to the driver with a curt, "Keep the change." Turning on his heel, he hurried into the large mid-city hospital.

Spotting a bank of elevators just inside the main entrance, he stepped into an empty car and pushed the button for the fourth floor where the ICU was located. Stepping out on the right floor, he turned towards the waiting room. The room was crowded with people. Hutch recognized some of them as part of the extended Starsky family. An older gentlemen dressed in the traditional garb of an orthodox Jew turned as Hutch entered the room.

"You must be Ken." He said, holding out his hand formally. "I'm Jacob Goldburg, Rachel's brother."

"I'm glad to meet you. I wish it could be under different circumstances." Hutch replied politely as he shook Jacob's hand firmly. "Is there any word on Rachel or Sta...uh…  
David?"

"They think Rachel will be all right. We are just waiting for her to wake up." Jacob said "The police said it looked like she was pushed and fell backward hitting her head on the edge of the table." He paused before continuing. "I'm afraid that David is still in a coma.

He also has a severe concussion and a hairline fracture of the skull. The police think he was the target of the attack. He has a broken jaw and a broken nose as well as some bad cuts and bruises."

"Who found them?"

"I did. I went over there around noon because David had a therapy appointment this afternoon. I found the front door ajar and when I went inside, I found them both in the kitchen. I called the police and the ambulance immediately."

"Do the police have any suspects?"

"Not yet but because of how badly David was beaten, they think that it was personal."

Hutch glanced around the room, immediately noticing that one family member in particular was glaringly absent.

"Have the police talked to Nicky?"

"No. Nobody knows where he is. He got into an argument with Rachel a few days ago and left. Nobody has seen him since." Jacob arched an eyebrow and grasped Hutch's elbow pulling him to one side so they could talk in private. "Do you think that Nickoli had something to do with this?"

"If he did…I'll kill the little bastard." Hutch growled. He looked at Jacob apologetically. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that."

Jacob shrugged. "It is no secret that Nicholas is jealous of David. He always has been…but to do something like this to his own brother? I do not want to believe he would do something like that…and I know that he would never hurt Rachel."

"Not intentionally." Hutch said "But you said that the police think she was pushed and fell. What happened to her could have been accidental. David was obviously the intended victim. The violence of the attack proves that."

"I can promise you this…if Nicholas had anything to do with what happened to his mother and to David…he will not find sanctuary within the family. I trust that you will find out who is responsible."

"I have no jurisdiction in this city." Hutch told him "But, I promise you that I will do whatever I can to help find out who did this and make sure they pay for it. Can I see them for a few minutes?"

Jacob nodded. "The Doctor is in with David right now but I'm sure he will allow you to see them when he is finished." He smiled warmly as he laid his hand on Hutch's shoulder. "You are David's family too."

Hutch nodded gratefully. It felt good to be accepted by these strong, independent people who had every reason to hate a Nordic blond of European descent. Too wired up to sit down, Hutch remained standing as he waited with the rest of the Starsky family for word on their loved ones.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Hutch slipped into Rachel Starsky's room and walked over to the still figure lying on the bed. Rachel looked pale and fragile, a white bandage covering her left temple. There was a pinched look around her eyes that Hutch knew meant she was in some pain. The doctor had informed the family that Rachel should recover but he was unable to predict how soon she would awaken.

"Hey…" Hutch whispered, running his fingers through her dark hair that curled around his finger like her son's sometimes did. The image made Hutch smile. Starsky might resemble his father more than he did his mother but he had inherited his independent nature and his zest for life from her. "I'm gonna find out who did this to you…and I'm gonna make sure they pay for it."

With that solemn promise, Hutch left the room and went up one floor to the ICU to sit with his injured partner. The doctor had not been as optimistic about Starsky's injuries. They were concerned about the possibility of his brain swelling due to a hairline skull fracture. He also had some broken ribs and his left lung had been compromised again. This would definitely set back his recovery from the gunshot wounds. They had put him back on a respirator which Hutch knew from experience that Starsky hated. They also had him in a drug induced coma to give his body time to start healing from his new injuries.

Hutch felt the tears burning his eyes as he stepped up to the side of the bed and reached out to brush the back of Starsky's hand with his knuckles. The beloved face was battered and bruised with both eyes swollen shut. His bottom lip was puffy and split in the center.

"God, babe…" Hutch said in a choked voice as he closed his fingers around Starsky's hand, squeezing reassuringly. "Who did this to you?" He tried to smile "You gotta quit doing to me, buddy…I'm losing my hair fast enough as it is." He hooked a nearby chair with his foot and pulled it closer, sitting down without letting go of Starsky's hand. Leaning closer, he whispered into a curl covered ear, "You're gonna be okay, Starsk…I'm gonna make sure of that. I'm not leaving until you're back on your feet." He was powerless to stop the words that spilled from his mouth. "God, I've missed you…" Hutch choked back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. "I need you, buddy…I've always needed you. I can't make it without you…" He bowed his head and closed his eyes to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him as he settled back into the chair. He intended to stay right where he was until Starsky opened his eyes and he dared anyone to try and make him leave.

As he sat there, Hutch let his thoughts drift back over the past few weeks. His duty demanded that he stay in Bay City to work on the case against James Gunther for hiring the men who had tried to kill Starsky, but he had felt as if part of him was missing without Starsky by his side. He refused to work with another partner and his co-workers had started giving him a wide berth to avoid setting off his temper. He'd spent his off hours alone, often drinking late into the night just so he could sleep without dreaming. He would never tell Starsky but he had even paid Merle to fix the Torino, restoring it to its formal glory, and he had been driving it on a regular basis. In some small way, it helped him feel like he was still connected to Starsky on some level. Now, for the first time in weeks, he finally felt at peace.

He must have dozed off because he was startled awake by someone shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes, his hand automatically reaching underneath his jacket for his weapon, stopping only when he recognized Jacob Starsky standing beside him. In a loud whisper, Jacob said,

"Rachel is awake and she wants to talk to you."

Hutch nodded and shoved himself to his feet. With a final glance at his partner's battered face, he followed Jacob out of the room and down the hall to the elevator. He quietly walked into Rachel's room, not wanting to disturb her if she was resting. As if sensing his presence, Rachel opened her eyes and smiled a trembling smile, reaching out for him with her hand. Hutch hurried to her side and took her hand, squeezing it gently.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her in a concerned voice.

"I'll live." Rachel said in a weak voice. Her dark eyes took on a determined expression that Hutch had seen many times over the years in her eldest son's eyes. Looking at him gravely, she said, "It was Nicholas. Nicholas did this…he had a gun. I tried to stop him from hurting David but I couldn't…"

"It's all right," Hutch soothed her gently trying to hold his anger in check. "He's going to be okay…you'll see."

"You've seen him?"

"Yes. I was with him when Jacob came to tell me you wanted to talk to me."

"Stay with him. Don't let Nicky hurt him again."

"Don't worry. Nicky won't get near him again. You can count on that."

"He needs you…I know that now." Rachel said a single tear running down her cheek. "I should never have brought him back here."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Hutch told her "You were doing what any mother would have done if her son was hurt as badly as Starsky was. You love him."

"So do you…and he loves you. I see that now…maybe now that you're here, he'll get better and then he can go home with you…where he belongs." She smiled sadly "This has not been his home for a very very long time…I should have realized that." She shifted position on the bed, wincing slightly. "What about Nicky? What's going to happen to him?"

"That will be up to the police." Hutch told her. "Technically, he's guilty of assaulting a police officer and attacking you."

"That wasn't his fault. I slipped on the kitchen floor and hit my head on the table when I fell."

"Nicky is still responsible. You wouldn't have been hurt if you hadn't been trying to stop him from hurting his brother." Jacob said somberly. "It's time that Nicky took responsibility for his actions…even if that means going to jail."

"I know, I know." Rachel said "And I agree…but it's partly my fault too. I should have known that he wouldn't react well to my bringing David back with me."

"You couldn't have known that Nicky was going to lose it like that." Hutch reminded her.

"I should have known. I'm still his mother." She sighed softly. "I'm afraid that I've overlooked too many things where Nicholas is concerned for too long." Her eyes filled with sadness. "But, he was all I had left…David was so far away…I couldn't bear to lose Nicky too."

Hutch patted her hand gently "Maybe, it's time for Nicky to grow up and be a man. He's dug himself a hole this time that he won't be able to climb out of. Hopefully, this will teach him a lesson that he's been needing to learn for a long time."

"Promise me that you won't hurt him." Rachel said softly, pleading with her eyes for Hutch to understand. It was the same look that Starsky used when he wanted Hutch to do something and he couldn't resist it now.

"I promise. I won't hurt him." Hutch said. Privately, Hutch thought to himself…much. He forced back the urge to beat Nicholas Starsky senseless the same way he had beaten his brother. He forcibly reminded himself that Nicky was still Starsky's brother and Rachel's son. That alone demanded some restraint on his part. He just hoped that it was a promise he would be able to keep.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

Hutch stood up and stretched the kinks out of his muscles. He had been sitting by Starsky's bed for almost eight hours waiting for some sign that he was waking up. His mind kept flashing back to those first few days in the hospital after the shooting. Days where he had spent hours sitting by Starsky's side waiting to see if he was going to live or die. He sighed as he left the room to make a quick pit stop at the men's room on his way to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

There was a line of people waiting for service. Hutch turned towards the vending machine to see what they had to offer. Suddenly, he felt a chill run down his spine and his Starsky radar went into full alert. Forgetting his hunger, he ran back towards Starsky's room, his almost psychic bond with his partner warning him that Starsky was in danger and needed him.

He burst into Starsky's room, his mind registering the figure of a man that was leaning over the bed lowering a pillow over Starsky's face. With an outrage roar, Hutch charged across the room, tackling the other man and knocking him to the floor. Straddling the man's body, Hutch drew back his fist and slammed it into Nick Starsky's jaw with enough force to snap his head sharply to one side. Consumed by his own rage, Hutch continued to pound Nicky's face relentlessly.

Finally, he regained his senses enough to stop his merciless beating of the younger man. Nicky was curled up in a fetal position, whimpering and babbling incoherently. Hutch was vaguely aware of other people rushing into the room. Two security guards grabbed his arms and pulled Hutch off of Nicky. Hutch shook them loose and growled, "You need to arrest him!" he jerked his head at Nicky. "I caught him trying to smother my partner with a pillow."

"Partner?" one of the guards said with a sneer, narrowing his eyes as he glared at Hutch suspiciously.

"We're cops in Bay City, California. Detectives." Hutch explained. "My partner was almost killed in an assassination attempt four months ago. He's been here in New York with his mother recovering. Then he was attacked, along with his mother, and they both ended up in here. His mother identified his brother as their attacker." He jerked his thumb in Nicky's direction. "That's his brother, Nicholas Starsky."

A doctor and a nurse knelt beside Nicky and began examining him carefully. Nicky pushed them away as he struggled to sit up. Glaring at Hutch, he yelled "I want that bastard arrested! He attacked me for no reason!"

"You're lucky I didn't kill you, you little prick!" Hutch yelled back angrily. "Your mother told me that you're the one who beat up Starsky!"

"You're a fucking liar!" Nicky said as he struggled to his feet, swaying unsteadily. "Ma wouldn't tell you anything!"

"I think you'd both better come with us." One of the guards said "Until we can straighten this whole thing out."

"Fuck you!" Nicky said belligerently as he glared at Hutch sullenly. "I ain't going anywhere with him!"

The larger of the two guards stepped forward and grabbed Nick by the arm. In a commanding voice, he said, "You're coming with us, sir." He left Nicky no choice but to follow as he walked towards the door.

The other guard looked at Hutch, who merely nodded and fell into step beside him following him out of the room. The guards took Nicky and Hutch to separate rooms and began taking their statements while waiting for the police to arrive.

Hutch had to wait for almost two hours before a man wearing an NYPD uniform came into the room. He was an older man with steely blue eyes and thick dark hair. Holding out his hand, he said, "I'm Sergeant Owens, NYPD."

"Ken Hutchinson. Bay City PD."

"We've never met but I've heard plenty about you." The older man said with a warm smile. "Mike Starsky was my partner for almost twelve years. I stop by to see Rachel now and then and she's told me all about you and Davy out there in California." His tone turned serious as he looked at Hutch solemnly. "I talked to Rachel and she told me what happened at the house and I've read your statement. Nicky is being arrested for felony assault and attempted murder. We found a bag of cocaine in his pocket so he's also going to be charged with possession with the intent to distribute." He smiled thinly. "You worked him over pretty good…can't really say that I blame you. The little shit had it coming."

"I wanted to beat his face in for what he did to my partner." Hutch admitted with a heavy sigh.

"But, you didn't. That's all that matters."

"Am I free to go? I want to check on my partner."

"Go ahead. I know you're worried about Davy. He's been through a lot in the past few months but he's a tough son of a bitch just like his ole man. I know he's gonna be okay."

Hutch nodded and hurried out of the room. He went back to Starsky's room and slipped inside. The brunet was still lying in the same position he'd been in earlier and didn't appear to be affected by the more recent trauma. Hutch sank down in the chair beside him and reached out to take his hand, holding it tightly.

"God, babe…I need you to wake up. I'm getting too old for this shit. I've had enough of New York already…I'm ready to go home whenever you are."

He folded his arms on the mattress beside Starsky and laid down his head, closing his eyes wearily. He was almost asleep when he felt a gentle stroking motion against his hair. His eyes snapped open and he looked up at Starsky's face. His eyes were open just enough for Hutch to see a sliver of familiar sapphire blue.

"S..S..Starsk?" Hutch stammered. A huge smile tugged as his lips when Starsky closed his eyes and then opened them again acknowledging Hutch's voice. Hutch felt his eyes fill with relieved tears as he gently ran his fingers through Starsky's unruly curls. "Welcome back, buddy. You scared the hell out of me. You really have to stop doing that." A ghost of a smile tugged at Starsky's lips as he looked at Hutch intently. "You're gonna be okay. I promise." Hutch took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Nicky's in jail. They arrested him for assault and attempted murder. He also a bag of coke on him so he's being charged with that too."

"Ma?" Starsky said in a hoarse whisper.

"She's going to okay. She's got a hard head too. Must be where you got it from. She should get out of here in a couple of days."

Starsky nodded and closed his eyes, drifting back into a peaceful sleep with Hutch standing guard as usual.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

Rachel Starsky was released from the hospital the next day. Starsky would have to stay for a few more days as a precaution because of his previous injuries. He was abnormally quiet, lost in his own thoughts. Hutch had tried talking to him about what had happened with Nicky but Starsky refused to talk about it.

Nicky was sitting in jail, his bail set high enough to make sure that he stayed right where he was until his sentencing. There was no doubt that he would have to spend some time behind bars for his actions. Maybe it would be the wakeup call that the younger Starsky son needed to turn his life around.

One of the aides had brought in Starsky's dinner tray but he sat there playing with the food on his plate instead of eating it. When he sighed heavily, Hutch leaned forward and said in a concerned voice,

"You wanna talk about it, buddy?"

"Ain't nothing to say."

"Come on, Starsk…I know it has to be hard knowing that Nicky's the one who did this to you. But, he's behind bars…he can't hurt you again."

"He's my brother…that's supposed to mean something." Starsky said quietly. "I don't understand…what did I ever do to make him hate me so much?"

"You didn't do nothing. Nicky's jealous of you…he always has been. You two may be brothers but you're nothing alike…you never have been. Nicky's never had to accept responsibility for his actions…he's always had somebody there to bail him out when he got into trouble. But, not this time. This time…he's right where he belongs."

"He told me once that I was never there for him when he needed me…and he's right. I wasn't."

"That's not your fault. You didn't ask to be sent away to live with your aunt and uncle when you were just a kid. If you'd stayed in New York, you could have ended up just like Nicky."

"Maybe…"

"The what ifs will drive you crazy…you know that." Hutch reached out and gently rubbed his knuckles over the back of Starsky's hand. When Starsky raised his head and looked into his friend's eyes, Hutch smiled at him warmly. "I'm here now…and I'm not leaving until you're out of here."

"Then what?" Starsky asked in a voice that sounded like a lost little boy. "Are you just gonna leave again?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"What about Gunther? They need your testimony to put him away."

"Gunther's lawyers will keep his case from going to trial for months, maybe even years. You need me here right now more than they need me back there."

"I wanna go home…not back to Ma's but back home with you…to Bay City."

"Then that's what you're going to do." Rachel's voice said from the open doorway to the room. Both men looked startled. They had been so focused on their conversation that they hadn't known she was standing there. Smiling, she crossed the room to her son's side and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I know I was wrong to bring you home with me. This isn't your home…it hasn't been for a long time." She glanced across the bed at Hutch. "The two of you belong together and I was wrong for not realizing that before now." She looked back at Starsky. "I'll always be your mother…but you don't need a mother to take care of you anymore. You need Ken."

"I love you, Ma."

"I love you too, Davi…and as soon as you're well enough to travel…I want you to go back to Bay City with my blessing." She wiped away the solitary tear that slipped down her cheek. "I'm going home now…you two have a lot of catching up to do."

Starsky and Hutch exchanged a silent glance as Rachel left the room. Hutch was the first to break the silence. "She's quite a lady."

"Yeah, she is pretty special." Starsky agreed with a slow smile. His expression turned solemn as he looked at his partner. "Hutch, you know I may not be able to be a cop again…the department could force me out on a medical disability."

"We'll deal with that when it happens." Hutch said "In the meantime, what we have to concentrate on is getting you back in shape."

"The doctor I've been seeing here…he thinks the problems with my hand and the mood swings are because of what happened…because of the shooting."

"Does he think that it's permanent?"

"No…he thinks it's all in my head…because of the trauma…sort of like some of the vets who came back from the war." Starsky explained. "The ones who couldn't forget what happened over there."

"What does he suggest?"

"He wants me to talk to this guy that works with vets and other people who've had some kind of life threatening drama and lived through it."

"Then I think that's what you should do…especially if he thinks this guy can help."

"I'm scared, Hutch." Starsky admitted somberly. "What if this is all I got left? What if I can't be a cop anymore…what if…"

"Stop with the what ifs." Hutch told him "We'll just take it one day at a time and see what happens. You gotta crawl before you learn to walk…and I'm in this with you one way or the other…no matter what happens it's always going to be me and thee…for better or for worse."

"Is that a proposal?" Starsky cracked with a smile. "Cause I gotta tell you, Hutch, you really ain't my type. I like my blondes with a few more curves."

"Mushbrain." Hutch teased him fondly. "You're not my type either. My dates usually don't have hair on their chest." It felt good to fall back into the familiar bantering that defined their relationship. No matter what the future held in store, they would face whatever lay ahead the same way they always had…together as a unit. Two halves of the same whole, complete only when they were with each other.

THE END


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